i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
