Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
