Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
one might say we're banned from that church
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
