You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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