Got a toothbrush?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
