honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
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I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
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Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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