I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
