We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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