i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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