Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
