Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
