We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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