There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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