walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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