he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
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I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
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he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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