shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
