I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
