i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
