I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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