idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
