Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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