That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
