I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
