I think scott just propositioned me for sex
kristin has been a bad kristin
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I want a musical about memes.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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