no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
