There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
