how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
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You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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