if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My ATM looks so different sober.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
