Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
