Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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