i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize