Whod you bang
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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