remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
