Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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