if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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