How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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