No, drunk sperm still make babies.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
