So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
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I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
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I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program