he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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