Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize