Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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