Life is so much better after having sex.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
