Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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