Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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