hell yes lets make some ravioli
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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