Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think my moral compass just broke
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