Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
