Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
