Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
