Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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