either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
