Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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