Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
