You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
