he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize