CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
