Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
