Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
