We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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