Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
