Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
